Am I insane?
Wait, before you answer that, let's run over Mouse's recent history in the world of food making.
Signed on for enormous festival of six to eight thousand (selling desserts) - check.
~Thought making pie for six to eight thousand was an easy idea - check.
Decided all women selling pie at said festival should be costumed in early 19th century sailor girl outfits with an edge - check, check.
~Planned to also make handmade flags to decorate said pie/dessert booth - triple check.
I am insane. Yes, I just answered that. I am also in a state of "edge of my seat" euphoria as the stress, hours, and pie dough build towards this Saturday. This is a major leap forward (we hope), in Mouse's "I'm a woman, not just a mommy!" claim on life.
All of that said, it has occurred to me more than once over this last couple of weeks, that my little mice, all furry and smelly, are the reason I wake up each day. They are the driving force behind everything, and the sanity check (if you will), that keeps me from say, signing onto 20,000 person events. They keep me real.
There are so many things I wouldn't know I could do if my children weren't here and my husband were always home. I am, in some sick and twisted way, indebted to the struggles they both provide.
Many a mom has said in passing to me "I don't know how you do it with him gone", speaking of course of my husbands constant in-and-out of our lives routine, leaving for months on end. Well, that's the thing, you just do. There is no choice but to "do" it. So, you do it all and then realize that you can. That we, as individuals are quite strong.
And then there's pie, or more exactly "The Pie Hole", which will debut in under a week at the unstoppable Rivertown Revival. The Pie Hole very well could have happened without kids, and with ever present partner, but it wouldn't have happened the same.
It wouldn't have been a collection of giving and gracious moms helping on the day of. It wouldn't be as well planned out - because before kids I didn't make good plans. It wouldn't be the pride of a family putting together a booth, and let me tell you, family pride is much more fulfilling than personal pride! Every drop of effort in this event has taken a village, and I wouldn't have known I had such a large one if my life, were I steady and sane.
So as this week progresses, and my booth and my pies come together, I feel this overwhelming gratitude to my journey and to those who are on it with me.
Tripling my joy is how easy it has become to make pie, and crisp, and pop-tarts out of local and organic ingredients. My flour is milled in Petaluma. My butter came from not far from here. My whipping cream is from Sonoma cows. My apricots from our front yard. My berries grew in Petaluma, and my plums in my hometown. It's overwhelmingly wonderful really.
These pies (and crisps, and gluten free cookies and retro pop-tarts), are symbolic of a greater journey. A journey we're all on to move life forward. To feed the soul. To live!
To Quinn and Dolly - I love you.
To Ed - you are my Captain.
To all of you - you are my Mast, strong and wise.
(Thank you in advance to Nichole, Fred, Fran, Melyna, Andrew, Lesley, Leslie, Frances, Heather, Reed, Trinity, Corinna, Suzanne, Jennifer, Cathrine, Cathryn, Katherine, Rosy, Jason, Karyl, Lani, Deb, Naomi, Bridget, Aggie, and I'm sure - many more of you.)